Late Teens, Early 20s are Years of Transition

Whitney Houston’s passing brought an onslaught of media reports reflecting on her meteoric rise to fame, as well as the demons that caused her much sorrow.    What stood out to me was just how young she was when the recording, touring, magazine covers, talk shows, and papparazi became part of her daily life.  Regardless of her family connections to the world of music, she was still a young girl from Newark, NJ who was singing in her church.  It has been reported that she performed on stage a number of times as a backup singer or with her relatives, but she wasn’t thrust into the spotlight as she was when her career began.  I wonder how her life might have turned out if she had more time to grow and mature.  If she had time to figure out who she was, and what she wanted for herself and her future.

I remember being 18 years old and thinking I knew everything.  The adults that were in my life didn’t know what they were talking about, and that I was fully grown.  It wasn’t until I hit the age of 25 that I realized I hadn’t known squat at that age.  The late teens and early 20s are years when young people are still trying to figure out who they are,  and where they are going.  Values and interests are still developing.  There are many times when confusion and decision-making takes over their lives.  Somewhere between childhood and adulthood is this period  when the individual is mapping out their hopes, dreams, career, and stability.   I believe many young people suffer when they are not allowed the freedom to find out where they fit.   They need time to think, make mistakes, change their minds, and decide for themselves what they want from life.  They need  to hang out with friends, get trained, educated, and learn what it is to be a responsible adult slowly.  Forcing them into a life of constant chaos does not give them the opportunity to create their future.

Now is a difficult time for young people to live the American dream.  Jobs are scarce and expenses are high.  The goal is for young people to prosper and become independent.  For some that might take longer than others.  The one thing that they all have is time.  Whitney would have been as good a singer at 25, as she was at 17.   Maybe she would have been just as happy singing in her church, as on the world stage.  She should have been given more time to grow up and decide.  The world could have waited.

A Child Sees the Glass Half Full

It is said that children can often teach adults a lesson or two.  This week, that revelation came to me regarding my own daughter.  She has reached the age of 10, and suddenly seems filled with infinite wisdom.  She is at that age where she envisions her life as an adult, and sees a pathway with no obstacles or road blocks.  I felt the same way at her age, but I was also filled with anxiety and worry of ever reaching a  significant level of success.  It took many years and a few setbacks before I realized what is important.  My daughter looks at life with hope, anticipation, and her eyes wide open.  She has a natural curiosity for everything she encounters, and displays no fear when attempting something new.  What I realized, is that she sees the glass half full.

It isn’t that she doesn’t have moments of sadness, boredom, or laziness, but she is always open to suggestions and learning something new.  Take her to a park or something involving the outdoors, and she never wants to leave.  She likes museums, movies, and the library.  She enjoys her dance classes and being creative.  With all the abilities we try to instill in our children, this view of life and what it has to offer creates a never-ending list of possibilities.  So many parents are hung up on the academic performance of their children.  No doubt it is of extreme importance, but emotional well-being is a major factor in academic achievement.  They also want them to be the best athlete, musician, artist, dancer, etc. that ever lived.   Pressure or feelings of anxiety can have a negative affect on performance.  I see many parents hovering over their offspring, and wonder how this kind of micromanaging is affecting the thought process of their kids. Does it help, or is it causing the opposite?

Although most adults are well-meaning, it is crucial that they understand how easy it is to destroy the spirit.  Children need guidance and help, but they should be allowed to develop their own interests.  Parents have a responsibility to nurture them so that they have a successful and productive life.  We also need to guide them in such a way that doesn’t come at the expense of happiness or individual freedom.  Let them see the glass half full, and they may have a better than average chance of living a great life.

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Searching for a New Car

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Article first published as Searching for a New Car on Technorati.

My 1997 Honda CR-V has logged 175,000 miles.  It is 14 years old and although it is still running, its age has  started to cost money.  Parts are rotting out, it rattles off and on, and there are numerous drops of oil all over the driveway.  My feeling has always been that as long as the car runs, there is no need to think about a new one.  However, I have finally decided that I don’t want to put more money into replacing parts, and want the security of going on a long drive without worry.  So, the search for a new car has begun. 

I am in the market for a crossover vehicle.  The size suits my needs and I feel comfortable driving this type of vehicle.  After looking at many makes and models, there are some features that seem to be similar across the market.  The boxy shape has become extinct.  Most have rounded the shape starting with a sloping front windshield, a curved top, and a rounded back-end.  The back window has shrunk so much so that in some models, it looks like a peep-hole.  There are many blind spots which for me, is not good.  I don’t think I can adjust to the lack of vision.  This bubble shape has also cut down on the amount of cargo space.  I also find it interesting that so many have added that little triangle window on the side.  Did one person  design all the cars for 2012?

Sit inside and the dashboard looks like the cockpit of an airplane.  So many tiny buttons, screens, bluetooth, iPod plugin, etc.   Is all this really necessary?  All I need is a good radio, heat and air conditioning, lights, and wipers.  No doubt all these buttons and knobs contribute to the growing number of distracted drivers.  One dealer went on and on about the phone access and the moon roof.  I finally said that those features weren’t big selling points, and that I could live without them.  He realized that I wasn’t going to be buying the top of the line model, and started showing me the more basic one.  Talk to me about gas mileage, leg room, cargo space, all wheel drive and I’m all ears.  I have done my homework and know what I want. 

The fall out from the Japanese earthquake is still being felt.  Go on any dealers website and you will see that a number of cars are still in transit.  This is one reason the American cars have increased in sales.  They are available, and ready for purchase.  Right now I am leaning towards the Subaru Forester because of its size, shape, and features.  I have not made a final decision, and will probably change my mind multiple times before I take the plunge this spring.   When you buy a new car every 15 years, you want to be sure.  Any suggestions are appreciated.

People in New York City are Friendly

Travel and Leisure Magazine came out with the results of survey categorizing the rudest and friendliest U.S. cities.   New York City was ranked number one for rudeness.   Having lived close to Manhattan for most of my life, I have had a number of opportunities to travel into the city for a show, shopping, museums, or other special events.  I am not a well-traveled person, but I know rudeness when I see it, and my experiences in New York have always been positive.

Walk down Fifth Ave. or Broadway and you have to stop at every block and wait for a crossing light to change.  People are orderly and wait.  Of course taxis have right on red so sometimes you have to speed across, but people do not push or run over anyone who takes their time.  They might walk around you and seem to be in a hurry, but that is because they probably are.  When you have to walk 10 blocks for an appointment you have to move fast.  When the train or bus is late, you have to run to be on time for work.  This is the city that never sleeps.

The restaurants in the theatre district are often crowded.  I have never encountered a rude host, or waitperson.   Many are young people in search of a dream.  Most have come for other places, and are trying to make a wage that will allow them to live in a very expensive area of the country.  They often ask where you are from, if you are catching a show, did you go to a concert, etc.  I have had many a nice conversation with the workers in every style of restaurant.

I always get lost in Greenwich Village.  It might as well be the Bermuda Triangle.  East and West confuse me and for some reason, the main avenues seem to get twisted around.  This is an area where the people hanging out a bit more relaxed.  It is a mix of students, artists, musicians, people with dogs, and merchants.  I have always been able to ask someone for directions, and they have more than willing to help.   The same holds true for questions regarding the subway system.  I have been told the best number to catch, and which station to go to.

I’m sure that there might be places I have not been where people might smile more and are not all hurrying around.  Life is enjoyed at a more leisurely pace, and that the sun and scenery are enjoyable.  But for those of us who have been to New York, there is no place like it on earth.   Broadway is simply the best in plays and musicals.  Lincoln Center is a phenomenon all its own.  The history and art museums are outstanding.  The music scene is eclectic.   The fashion district is still strong, and the universities are some of the best in the world.   The sports fans are among the most loyal.

New York saw its darkest day on 9/11.  The horror of what occurred, and the lives that were lost will never be forgotten.  On that day and the days that followed, the people of the city came together.  Police, firefighters, EMS, and ordinary citizens banded together to help others.   No matter what the perception is as reported in a survey,  the people of  New York  are kind, gracious, strong, and always lend a hand in time of need.  History will remind of us of that forever.