Talk to the Elderly

     Recently, my husband and I took our daughters to the movies.  Afterwards, we went for pizza at a very well-known establishment.   We were seated after waiting 30 minutes in the lobby.  Once we were settled and gave our order, I noticed an elderly couple sitting diagonal from us.  It seemed every time I looked up, they were staring at us and neither was speaking.  A small wall divided our tables so I couldn’t see the rest of their party.  Eventually, a man I assumed was their son stood up, followed by three boys around the ages of 10 to 12.   Two teenage girls also appeared.  I then knew why the elderly couple wasn’t talking.

     Each of the boys was holding their own tablet, and both girls had earphones attached to either a phone of other device. They were probably so involved in their own virtual world, that none of them took the time to talk to the people sitting directly in front of them.  I felt sorry for this couple. They are of a generation where being “social” means going out, having fun, and making memories.  The word “media” is not part of the scenario.

     I was lucky enough to have known my grandparents and other relatives for a good part of my life.  What I remember most are the conversations.  They were filled stories that only come with a lifetime of experience.  They provided lessons in history as seen from the eyes of people who had lived it.  There are conversations fondly remembered because of humor and laughter.  None of it recorded except in the recesses of my mind.  The place, the time, and the experience lived again as if it were yesterday.

     My opinion concerning electronics has been stated before in other posts.  I am not against them, and understand they serve a need.  But why has it become a substitute for interaction?  Why does it have to go everywhere and be present at every moment?  Some day in the future, these kids will not have the opportunity to talk to their grandparents.  What will they remember?

I’m Back

August Flowers 08 (Photo credit: Gareth James (Finland))

The end of August is near.  My annual vacation from this blog has been good.  I have spent very little time on the computer and social media.  I debated whether or not I wanted to continue to write or not.  I have contemplated writing a book, but I’m still not sure I have the ability to pull that off. I am also exploring other opportunities that are available.  For the time being, I will continue to fill the blogosphere with my thoughts and ideas for anyone who cares to read.  For some unknown reason, I can’t seem to give it up.  Hope everyone had a nice summer.   🙂

The Main Purpose of a 911 Call

     The State of Connecticut’s Freedom of Information commission has ordered the town of Newtown to release the 911 calls they received on the day of the Sandy Hook Elementary School shootings.  The purpose of obtaining these calls is to decide if their content should be made available to the public.  There has been opposition by the families of the victims and their supporters, for this material to be accessible to anyone seeking a request.  Included in this concern are photos depicting the scene after the tragedy.   For years now, 911 calls and crime scene photos have made their way into mainstream media and the internet.  We are taught to call 911 only when there is a true emergency to report.  Dispatchers then notify the appropriate personnel to the scene. The purpose of the call is to alert police, fire, and medical responders, not for the media, print, or internet reporting.

     As the years have gone by, more and more of these calls have been played on network news and talk shows.  The fear, anxiety, and sense of helplessness often is heard as the individual at the end of the phone line is reaching out for assistance.   One is often left to wonder what purpose is gained by hearing these voices in distress.   Does it help in any way?  Does it make us understand the trauma those individuals suffered?  Do seeing pictures of victims give us, the public, any more information?  There are reports that some of the first responders at the scene of the shooting are suffering from mental stress.  What benefit will they, the families, and the public obtain from seeing the images or hearing those cries for help.  This is not one  of the many nightly dramas that opens each episode with a horrific crime scene.  What happened is real, with real people, affecting real lives.  The effects don’t end in an hour, but are everlasting.

     We as a public are not privy to everything.  We abide by doctor-patient confidentiality.  Clergy do not have to report information shared from a member of their congregation.   The names and pictures of juveniles are not reported in regards to a variety of issues.  The identity of abuse victims are not revealed in the press or other media.   The media themselves are protected from exposing sources in the reporting of a story.

     Does this really have to be debated?  Do the families, already dealing with an impossible amount of grief, have to spend time fighting to have calls and photos blocked?   What are we possibly going to find out that we already don’t know?   It doesn’t change what happened.   The images that remain with us should be the smiling faces of the beautiful, innocent children and the 6 caring adults who lost their life on that day.   The information in those calls and in those pictures should be restricted to law enforcement and the courts.   The victims and their families have rights too, and their rights should be respected.  May they be granted the peace they deserve.

Life on a 2 inch Screen

     In my last post, I described my visit to Disney World.   One of the points I didn’t mentioned was before every show, an announcement was made that no recording or flash photography could take place during the performance.  It was music to my ears.  It seems in the past few years, everyone is recording every event that occurs in their lives.  This all started with the invention of the video camera.  Now with cell phones, iPads, YouTube and other social media, the world has become one giant movie.

     We waited for the parade in the Magic Kingdom one afternoon during our trip.  People were polite and courteous while standing along the road.  When the parade reached our area, a women standing next to me kept sticking her elbow in my side.  She had her iPad up in the air in order to record the whole parade.  In my passive aggressive way I refused to move over.  I’m sure she didn’t appreciate the clapping and calling out  of the names of characters as they went by, but I didn’t care.  I was enjoying the moment with my kids and wasn’t going to stifle my fun for someone documenting their entire day.

     Before we had kids, and had two incomes, my husband and I went on a cruise to Alaska.  The only way to get from location to location is by boat or air since the state does not have many roads of connection.  We noticed that while the boat was moving, the crowds were nowhere to be seen.  It was us and about 12 other people wearing parkas observing the wonderful landscape.  When the boat stopped, the people came out of the casino, the pools, and the food and play areas, and took sudden interest in the sites.  At the time video cameras were the means of recording, and they came out in force.  Tripods were set up, people jockeyed for the best position, and it was taped for remembrance.  When the show was over, the people disappeared.  My husband commented that that those people were experiencing Alaska through a 2 inch screen.

     I often wonder what children think when their parents tell them what to do for the camera.  Many times they want a reenactment of something a child did spontaneously. They tell them not only what to do or say, but how to do it.  Most kids I know don’t repeat what you want them to do when asked.  This causes many parents to become exasperated because they can’t capture that precious moment.  Maybe these kids are onto something.  I remember a movie called Truman starring Jim Carrey.  Unbeknownst to Truman, his whole life was being monitored, and a live feed was blasted across televisions nationwide.  Everything around him was set-up to provide the drama.  People, buildings, and events, were planned to create a kind of documentary reality show.  When Truman found out, he walked out and said goodbye.

     I have a video camera.  I film my kids a few times a year.  Most of it takes place the backyard, or the house of mine and other family members.  I don’t feel like I can fully experience what is going on around me if I have to keep focus through a screen.  So much time during the total happening is lost.  I know I am old school, but I prefer still photography.  There is something captured in a moment that I find quite satisfying.  A facial expression, the time of day, the surroundings, the people grouped together, the memory of time and place.  It is nice to have some photos and videos as remembrance, but the best movie of all is the one that plays out in our heads.  The memories we hold of loved ones, events, and life in general.  My grandmother said it best.  Once at a wedding, she couldn’t get over the number of photos that were being taken.  She commented…”All these pictures.  You only need one.”  How right she was.

Reading the News in Print

     I started reading the local newspaper around the age of 12.   During my middle and high school years, I enjoyed reading articles that pertained to my school, organizations and events that revolved around youth, and of course, the comics.  As I grew into adulthood, the news took on a different significance.  Local and world politics, education and health issues, environmental and economic concerns, all started to attract my attention.  The media provides a plethora of opportunities to tune in, search, scan, and highlight breaking news. Top stories are readily available.  In the newspaper are stories presented  many of us might never see.  This is the value of the printed page.

    Local newspapers provide the community with information regarding schools, town government, religious, and social happenings.  They allow for in-depth reporting.  I acquire most information on local issues in this manner.  Social media and local internet sites provide some content, but it has yet to match the detail in the newspaper.  It is also presented in a timely manner so there are no last minute surprises regarding issues or items that need addressing.

   National and international stories are also included in the daily postings.  Television and the internet usually focus on the major issues of the day.  The newspaper is able to devote more time and space to stories that aren’t on the front burner.  I find it interesting and educational when I discover a new issue, place, or happening.  I can’t get all of that in one place on the computer.  On a day when I don’t get an opportunity to read the paper, I get an uneasy feeling that I might have missed something.

   The issue of accuracy of reporting also comes into play.  There have been many instances of false information being disseminated in an effort to be first.  “Exclusive” and “Breaking” are terms television news shows use often.  They say this as a method of punctuating the fact that they know something others don’t.  There have been many instances when the rush to be first led to the reporting of misinformation.  The newspaper doesn’t have the luxury of being first.  As a result, by the time the story is in print, most of the details have been examined and reported as fact.  There are times when a retraction or correction is required, but the overall track record is acceptable in terms of giving us the right information.

   More and more, newspapers are downsizing both physically and literally.  Some have gone completely over to a digital format.  Downward sales are blamed for the change.  Young people gravitate to interactive media and many never open a newspaper.   I don’t want to see a total demise in my lifetime.  I want to be able to read it while waiting in an office, at a coffeehouse, or on the train.   I want to enjoy the 20 minutes of quiet time as I eat lunch and catch up on the day.  I hope I will always be able to walk down the drive in the morning, and pick up that daily paper.  I wouldn’t want to start my day without it.

Hiding Behind a User Name

      I was taught if you can’t say something nice about a person, don’t say anything at all.  That rule of courtesy doesn’t always seem to apply for some when making comments online.  I have noticed many people, who speak in the harshest of tone, don’t use their real name. I understand privacy is an online right, but what is alarming is how vicious and close-minded some of the statements are.  If an individual feels they have the right to speak their minds, then they should be willing to identify themselves.   Hiding behind a user name is an excuse to spew out vile, mean, and ridiculous comments that only serve to offend, ridicule, and make fun of people or situations.

    What is interesting is the choice of some of these names.   Some name themselves after places or feelings.  Others use the names of fictional characters.  Others pick descriptive phrases that pertain to an issue or situation.  I am alarmed at what some of these hiders say when they are anonymous.  It is an insight into what people really think in society.  I don’t care that they have an opinion.  It doesn’t bother me if they say something I don’t agree with.  What I don’t like is the degree to which they will go to comment.   Individuals will rip apart the appearance, ethnic, racial, religion, or sexual orientation of people involved in the topic.  They will make hurtful or sarcastic remarks that have nothing to do with the issue being discussed.   Some users will actually engage in online road rage and go back and forth with insults.

     I have the choice not to read comments or participate in an online discussion.  What I wonder is how many of these people are adults with children.  Do they speak this way within earshot of their kids?  Are they having discussions with other adults thinking that their children aren’t listening?  Do they shout at the television or in the car when they see or hear something they don’t like?  Do they insult others on a regular basis?  Believe me, kids hear and see everything.  You make think they aren’t listening, but those little ears are taking it all in.

     I often tell my daughters that everyone is entitled to their own opinions and thoughts.  What some people like, others will not.  Everyone has the right to do what they choose as long as they don’t hurt anyone.  We often think about children and teenagers when discussing the topic of bullying.  In reality, it is around us all every day.  Society has to learn to listen, talk, share, and discuss issues without shouting, name-calling, and tearing into people with whom we disagree.  So much more could be accomplished, and more people would exist in a happier environment.  Try using your real name when making comments and it might make you think twice about what you really want to say.

It’s Facebook. Get Over It.

Article first published as It’s Facebook. Get Over It. on Technorati.

Image via CrunchBase

This past week, Facebook made some changes on how people receive their news feed.  The wall page looks different and top news is highlighted.  This has upset a great many people who feel that in some way their page is being violated.  I’m the first to admit that I am not that technologically advanced, but in the whole scheme of things, is this really that big a deal?

First of all, Facebook is free.  It isn’t a service that you pay for.  Everyone who has access to a computer can have an account.  In a time where everything is increasing in cost, this is something anyone, no matter what their income level can enjoy.  There isn’t much out there that can lay the same claim.

Second, it is social media.  It is basically something people do for fun.  Yes, I can get information about my town, school district, and favorite stores in a timely matter.  I can see postings that are news related and get alerts for sites that I follow.  I have reconnected with people I knew well in my past and find messaging convenient.  But, it doesn’t run my life.

I am a generation or two removed from the young people who rely on texting, posting, and twittering as their main form of communication.  When I was young, the telephone was how you contacted people.  There was never any confusion regarding what you were saying or what you meant.  Sure, we spent hours talking, but for some reason the connection seemed more real.  I am willing to accept that time moves along and with that comes change.

Lastly, anything that takes up too much of your life is not a good thing.  I don’t have hundreds of friends, and don’t have a million likes.  I don’t add someone on who I never talked to in the past.   Maybe we went to the same school but there was never a personal connection.  I don’t follow celebrities or play games.    I am probably in the minority when it comes to that.

Facebook seems to make changes often.  To me it doesn’t really matter, and it is my decision to use or not use what they offer.   Imagine what we could accomplish if the passion that people feel for social media and entertainment could be diverted to issues of real importance.  World hunger, education, poverty, pollution are a few that come to mind.  People can live without Facebook.