A Closet Full of Memories

     I was 7 months pregnant, and had a 2 year old when we bought our present home.   My vow not to accumulate piles of stuff evaporated once I had a baby, a toddler, and 4 pets to look after.  That was 8 years ago.  Into my closet I stored away, clothes, cameras, important papers, cards, crafts, old tickets to shows, and various other items I deemed necessary to keep.   Finally, this week, I decided to clean out the mess it had become.

     I have no problem getting rid of clothes and shoes.  There are items that I haven’t worn in about 10 years.  Most are terribly outdated.   Some I just don’t wear, so the various piles of donating and throwing out are being made.  Looking at these old clothes reminds me of what I was doing at the time, and places I have been, but the memories are in my head and don’t need to be worn.   They say if you haven’t put it on in 2 years, get rid of it.  Consider it done.  I’ve gone from “Maybe I will wear it sometime.” to “You know you are never going to wear it.”

     Next on the list is paper.  This is a major problem for me.   Lately I have been better, but I tend to let papers pile up.   I have old bills for items I bought or had serviced.   I have receipts for when I bought my car and when it was maintained.  I have old bank statements for accounts I closed years ago.  I have outdated papers regarding my teaching certification.  Since social security numbers are printed on just about everything, the shredder is working overtime.  The satisfaction is seeing the piles of these papers disappear.  Yes, I remember the day I bought that car.  Yes, I remember how I worked to maintain my teaching credentials.  It all seems like a lifetime ago, but I remember.

     Other items are more personal in nature.  My wedding dress and cards that we were given.  I have a collection of old cameras that I want to keep.  Pictures and ticket stubs to events I attended.  Items I picked up on trips.  Purses, tote bags, and hats which are unique and actually used.  These I will keep, but I will seriously have to think about purchasing anything similar when it catches my eye.  Do I really need for more to end up in the closet?

     Lastly, and with more difficulty, are the papers that involve my children.  I have cards sent when they were born.  I have papers from the hospital.  I have everything they made in preschool and kindergarten in my closet.  (First grade on is somewhere else.)  I have piles of photos of when they were babies.  Looking back, I wonder where the time has gone.  They were so little and now my oldest is 11.  Her sister is 8.  Those years of early childhood…gone.   Yet they still have so much growing to do.  I am enjoying this age of being able to have a discussion with them.  I enjoy watching their interests and skills develop.  The best part about seeing those old photos, crafts they made and stories they wrote, is that it all makes me smile.  I don’t know if I am going to be able to part with any of it.  I think I’ll be making some scrapbooks very soon.  Until then..shhhhh…I’ll keep it all in the closet.

Mirror, Mirror, Who is That?

     I don’t like to shop.  Let me rephrase that, I don’t like to shop for me.  I have a hard time finding clothes I like.  Maybe I’m too picky.  Maybe I don’t care.  In reality, I’m a blue jeans girl in a fashionista world.  My idea of looking presentable these days is a newer pair of jeans with a comfortable top.  I appreciate good fashion, and I like watching Project Runway, but the whole ordeal of finding something to wear is exhausting and frustrating.  There are times however, when an occasion arises that forces me into the mall.

     Recently I was invited to a wedding.  Looking in the closet, I realized I hadn’t bought a dressy outfit in about 10 years.  Some still fit, but none seemed suitable enough to wear to a winter event.  So, I eventually decided to hit the mall.  I was determined to find something.  I walked the entire length, went into every store, and eventually landed in Macy’s.  I was surprised to actually find a few dresses to try on given the fact that many were for a much younger woman or, for a much older woman.  Being in that middle age range is like falling into the black hole of apparel.

    I was appreciative that the saleswomen didn’t follow me into the dressing room.  I know what I like, and know if I like how it looks on me.  I hung my selections on the hook, undressed, and turned around.  Maybe it was the glow of the fluorescent light.  Maybe it was the multiple angles in which I was given the opportunity to observe myself.  Maybe it was because I was tired and in bad need of a haircut.  I didn’t recognize the woman staring back at me.  Suddenly I looked so much older than I do in my mirror at home.  Suddenly I looked about 10 pounds overweight.   I looked like a cross between a before picture and a mug shot.  Who was that stranger looking back at me?

    After getting over the initial shock, I found a nice dress and was happy with my purchase.  The next week I got a haircut.  For some reason, it always makes me feel lighter and energized.  The wedding was fun (more in another post) and I had a great time.  Last week I was thinking about the eyes we look out with.  The eyes that make an effort to be happy, smile, and enjoy life as well as deal with hard times.  The eyes that observe all around us and help us make wise decisions.  The eyes that look toward the future, reminisce about the past, and watch generations move along.  Aging of the body is a natural process in which we have no control.  More important is how we feel, how we live, and what we experience.  The mirror doesn’t show us that.

Mirror, Mirror, Who is THAT?

     I don’t like to shop.  Let me rephrase that, I don’t like to shop for me.  I have a hard time finding clothes I like.  Maybe I’m too picky.  Maybe I don’t care.  In reality, I’m a blue jeans girl in a fashionista world.  My idea of looking presentable these days is a newer pair of jeans with a comfortable top.  I appreciate good fashion, and I like watching Project Runway, but the whole ordeal of finding something to wear is exhausting and frustrating.  There are times however, when an occasion arises that forces me into the mall.

     Recently I was invited to a wedding.  Looking in the closet, I realized I hadn’t bought a dressy outfit in about 10 years.  Some still fit, but none seemed suitable enough to wear to a winter event.  So, I eventually decided to hit the mall.  I was determined to find something.  I walked the entire length, went into every store, and eventually landed in Macy’s.  I was surprised to actually find a few dresses to try on given the fact that many were for a much younger woman or, for a much older woman.  Being in that middle age range is like falling into the black hole of apparel.

    I was appreciative that the saleswomen didn’t follow me into the dressing room.  I know what I like, and know if I like how it looks on me.  I hung my selections on the hook, undressed, and turned around.  Maybe it was the glow of the fluorescent light.  Maybe it was the multiple angles in which I was given the opportunity to observe myself.  Maybe it was because I was tired and in bad need of a haircut.  I didn’t recognize the woman staring back at me.  Suddenly I looked so much older than I do in my mirror at home.  Suddenly I looked about 10 pounds overweight.   I looked like a cross between a before picture and a mug shot.  Who was that stranger looking back at me?

    After getting over the initial shock, I found a nice dress and was happy with my purchase.  The next week I got a haircut.  For some reason, it always makes me feel lighter and energized.  The wedding was fun (more in another post) and I had a great time.  Last week I was thinking about the eyes we look out with.  The eyes that make an effort to be happy, smile, and enjoy life as well as deal with hard times.  The eyes that observe all around us and help us make wise decisions.  The eyes that look toward the future, reminisce about the past, and watch generations move along.  Aging of the body is a natural process in which we have no control.  More important is how we feel, how we live, and what we experience.  The mirror doesn’t show us that.

Hiding Behind a User Name

      I was taught if you can’t say something nice about a person, don’t say anything at all.  That rule of courtesy doesn’t always seem to apply for some when making comments online.  I have noticed many people, who speak in the harshest of tone, don’t use their real name. I understand privacy is an online right, but what is alarming is how vicious and close-minded some of the statements are.  If an individual feels they have the right to speak their minds, then they should be willing to identify themselves.   Hiding behind a user name is an excuse to spew out vile, mean, and ridiculous comments that only serve to offend, ridicule, and make fun of people or situations.

    What is interesting is the choice of some of these names.   Some name themselves after places or feelings.  Others use the names of fictional characters.  Others pick descriptive phrases that pertain to an issue or situation.  I am alarmed at what some of these hiders say when they are anonymous.  It is an insight into what people really think in society.  I don’t care that they have an opinion.  It doesn’t bother me if they say something I don’t agree with.  What I don’t like is the degree to which they will go to comment.   Individuals will rip apart the appearance, ethnic, racial, religion, or sexual orientation of people involved in the topic.  They will make hurtful or sarcastic remarks that have nothing to do with the issue being discussed.   Some users will actually engage in online road rage and go back and forth with insults.

     I have the choice not to read comments or participate in an online discussion.  What I wonder is how many of these people are adults with children.  Do they speak this way within earshot of their kids?  Are they having discussions with other adults thinking that their children aren’t listening?  Do they shout at the television or in the car when they see or hear something they don’t like?  Do they insult others on a regular basis?  Believe me, kids hear and see everything.  You make think they aren’t listening, but those little ears are taking it all in.

     I often tell my daughters that everyone is entitled to their own opinions and thoughts.  What some people like, others will not.  Everyone has the right to do what they choose as long as they don’t hurt anyone.  We often think about children and teenagers when discussing the topic of bullying.  In reality, it is around us all every day.  Society has to learn to listen, talk, share, and discuss issues without shouting, name-calling, and tearing into people with whom we disagree.  So much more could be accomplished, and more people would exist in a happier environment.  Try using your real name when making comments and it might make you think twice about what you really want to say.

A Change for 2013

      I never make New Year’s resolutions.  Losing weight, exercising, eating better, reading more, mastering some skill, etc., seem to me as things I should do anyway.  Whether I do them or not depends on my own will.  I can start and/or stop whenever I choose, so the thought of stating something I might or might not do doesn’t work for me.  This year however, is different.  The events of the past few months have made me seriously reconsider how I have been living my life, and what I can do to make it better.

     I have never been a “group” person.  I really never cared if people accepted me or not.  I could never understand why people would change themselves in order to conform.  It isn’t that I never had friends, rather I had many.  I would go off with different people at different times.  Most of the time it involved an activity or situation I found myself in.   In high school it revolved around classes or activities.  In college and grad school, l it revolved around courses and assignments.  In my young adulthood I tended to hang around with people who had similar musical tastes.  The people changed as the period of time changed.

     For 11 years, I have been a stay-at-home mom.  As most will agree, you spend a lot of time alone.  Once kids go off to school full-time, the time you spend alone increases substantially.   I didn’t really think much of it until lately.  The past few months have been filled with sad and difficult happenings for people I know, or live in my area.  My heart had started to feel heavy with each occurrence.  With all that I have personally lived through, nothing compared to the punch in the chest and gut that I felt from these events.  I was starting to lose hope in the world which was something I had never felt before.

     The past few weeks have been mind and eye-opening.  I have realized that it is comforting to be with people with whom you can talk, share, and laugh.  It is refreshing to the soul to spend time getting out and living life, even if its just getting your windshield repaired at a windshield replacement houston place.  Life goes on no matter what happens around you.  The ability to move on, stay positive, and find the good is what keeps us all going.  So, this year I have decided to find more opportunities to connect with others.  It might be finding a “group” that has my same interests.  Although I volunteer at the local school, I am looking for other opportunities to lend a hand.  I might even entertain the idea of finding a part-time job to offer my skills.  Whatever the outcome, the ability to connect, and once again have an active role in society is something I look forward to.  I’ll keep you posted.  Happy New Year.